On Sunday, August 7, Faith and I will celebrate our 1st year of marriage together. And boy what a year! There's no real way to prepare yourself for what being married is like. Some folks say it's really hard. One of my bosses at Mission Waco has been married for close to 30 years, and what sticks out to them the most was how miserable they were their first couple of years! Then there's the folks that talk about how easy the "honeymoon phase" of marriage is.

I really don't know how I would describe the first year to anyone who hasn't experienced it. I DEFINITELY would not use "easy" or "difficult" to label it. I would probably simply say that it's important to be prepared to learn an unfathomable amount.

In this inaugural year of marriage, some of the things I've learned include:

-just how selfish I really am
-about allowing the 'other' to penetrate every avenue of your life
-that one can't overemphasize the importance of c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-i-o-n...(and that I really suck at it)
-that every decision made has to be made on behalf and in consideration of the Other
-leaving the toilet lid up too often will lead to many unpleasant looks
-putting the toilet paper on the "wrong way" gets unpleasant looks and a few choice words

But probably the one thing I've learned the most, and have had the hardest idea grappling is the concept of submission. In Ephesians 5, likely the most famous passage in the Bible on marriage, Paul says forthright, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." Afterwards, he makes the following commandment to husbands, "Love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Traditionally, I think Christians have interpreted that to mean the following--Wives, you should submit to your man. Husbands, love your woman a whole lot.

After a year of marriage under my belt, I think I can confidently say that is nothing but a bunch of mularky. Faith and I have had plenty of disagreements, discussions, and a few arguments. And what I've discovered is that submission simply cannot be expected from one end and not the other. It absolutely has to go both ways. It doesn't contradict Paul's writing one bit either. If we, as husbands, are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, then to me that rings of nothing but submission. Christ's whole purpose, his mandate, while on earth was that of submission. So if anything, husbands are required to follow a pretty steep example of submission.

Stated most briefly, love means doing those things that are in the best interest of others instead of doing what serves self best.

So, that said, we'll be heading to San Antonio Friday for a short holiday while we can afford it. I won't be around a computer until Monday or Tuesday. Grace, mercy, and peace to you all.