I love the farm. I really do. After several years of working at desks and in classrooms, it is definitely refreshing to come home at the end of the day with blisters, dirt (or manure!), and sweat on me. Additionally, there's currently 12 of us living on the farm right now in community. Living, eating, and working together with fellow believers from across the world and of all ages has taught me an incredible amount about the body of Christ. Quite frankly, it's going to be hard to not live within a community after this experience!

Not to be disillusioned, I must admit there are trying times as well out here. Other than the frustrations of not understanding how to properly fix an irrigation system or construct a chicken coop, I'm primarily talking about having lives that are so closely knit with others'.

Folks' jokes get old.
Some people are just too loud.
Others have annoying habits.

So it's hard to be around others on the farm from time to time. It's preferable to just go back to the apartment and complain to Faith.

Then one of my fellow interns pointed out a common scripture passage to us this past week during morning devotions. She read from 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter on love. We're all familiar with it. Just about everyone has it read at their wedding. Sunday school classes will cover it at least a few times each year. So when it's read, it's easy to zone out due to familiarity.

However, this time I actually looked into the passage. And I looked at all the descriptions of love--it protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, never fails, and is patient, kind, and humble.

Further, even if we--
-Give all that we have to the poor
-Speak so that we represent both man and God (you know, like a priest)
-And have the wisdom, insight, and knowledge of a prophet

...it's all for nothing if we do it without love. That's the real kicker...think about it: those 3 actions that are mentioned at the opening of the passage in Corinthians are all very much revered within the Christian faith. If you were to do just one of those, then you would be considered devout. However, the Apostle Paul says that it's all for naught if you do it without love.

This really made me step back for a bit and think. "Am I loving my neighbors here at the farm?" "Do I want to live and work among another culture because I love them or for a selfish reason?"

I must admit that I realized that I wasn't loving some of my fellow farmers out here. Some I merely tolerate. Others I avoid if I can. I don't love.

Right now I wouldn't say that I've come to the point where I do love them...but I'm working on it. A couple of times each day I have to ask myself if I'm loving a particular person I'm around. Once I do, I begin to appreciate that person a bit more.

As I close, I'm reminded of a beautiful little song by Ginny Owens called "I Am Nothing". In it, she makes the same argument as Paul--that if we do not truly love, then it doesn't matter what feats we accomplish in the name of the Lord...for it's all nothing. Check out the lyrics:

I could travel over oceans, cross the deserts, and climb the mountains
Just to share your story, bring you glory, and win souls for You.
I could sing like an angel, songs so humble and so thankful
Full of drama and emotion, so the world would know Your truth.
I could give away my money and my clothes and my food
To restore those people who are poor and lost and down-and-out.
Oh, I could succeed at all these things,
Find favor with peasants and kings,
But if I do not love, I am nothing.

I could live a flawless life,
Never cheat or steal or lie,
And always speak so kindly, smile so warmly, and go about doing good.
I could dedicate myself to do what everyone else wants me to-
Listen to them, compliment them, say the things I should.
I could show up every Sunday to lead the choir and Bible study
And they all might come to know me as a leader and a friend.
Oh, I could achieve success on earth, but success cannot define my worth
And all these actions, all these words, will not matter in the end-

'Cause songs will fade to silence,
And stories, they will cease.
The dust will settle, covering all my selfless deeds.
So as I strive to serve You,
Won’t You make it clear to me,
If I do not love, I am nothing.

And If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the one who lived his life for me?

Sent to earth from heaven,
Humble servant, holy king,
Come to share a story, get no glory, and save my searching soul,
You knew that I’d deny You, crucify You, but nothing could stop You from
Living for me, dying for me, so that I would know-

That songs will fade to silence,
Stories will cease,
The dust will settle covering these selfless deeds.
But Your life here has made it clear enough for me to see
That if I do not love, I am nothing

Last night Faith and I ate some fast-food while waiting to see the new film End of the Spear, a film based on the true story of Nate Saint, Jim Elliot, and 3 other missionaries' and their families 50 years ago. The film wasn't that great, as it was a low-budget dramatization (To counter, I would HIGHLY recommend the beautiful documentary put out last year about the same event called Beyond the Gates of Splendor. It's out on video now, so you can rent it. It's definitely worth a viewing...or two).

Anyways, back to the fast-food experience:
About a half-dozen 30-40 year olds sat down at the table next to Faith and me. They were quite the lively group, so it was pretty easy for us to eavesdrop on their conversation and find out that they were a Sunday school class going to see the same film that Faith and I were seeing in a few moments.

Shortly after sitting down, one of the men in the group accidentally dropped his whole carton of fries on the floor, prompting his wife to quickly go up to the counter and ask for a free replacement because they had found a hair in their fries.

Then they continued on with their Sunday school class discussion of the Christian movie they were about to support.

I merely rolled my eyes as this played out in the restaurant. But the more I think about it, the more it disturbs me. Certainly the disregard and dishonesty of the group is bothering to me, but I think I'm most disturbed by instances within my own life where I look to cut corners or tell a white lie simply to save time or a buck.

As a people who try to distinguish ourselves from the non-believers around us, perhaps the more important task is to distance ourselves from fellow believers who make the distinguishing a moot point.

As Faith and I are adapting to some major changes that will affect us within the next 9 months, perhaps it's time to look back at the past few months:



Ah yes, this was taken on our anniversary weekend
at a B&B in San Antonio. This was kind of our final rest
before the big move.




Shortly after moving to the farm, we met a volunteer for the farm
who insisted on taking us sailing. Fun was had by all.



After a bruising day out in the field or orchard, I oftentimes
collapsed after making it back to our apartment. Here one of my
pups, Kia, graciously allows me to use her as a pillow.



Faith and I were able to get away one weekend with some friends
to go camping at Colorado Bend State Park. Here, we spend some time
swimming in a spring-fed creek.



Church held a missions fair one Sunday.
Here we hosted a table about Haiti.




Faith and I pose for a quick pic during
a community-wide day at the farm in November.

It's funny how life continues.
Life perseveres.
Life thrives.
Life begins.

It's been nearly two months since my last post. At the time, I was caught in anger, doubt, and confusion as I dealt with the tragic death of a local pastor and the near death of a friend. In November, when I last wrote, Scott was unconscious with a 5% chance of survival after getting hit by a SUV while riding his bicycle on Halloween night.

Now, in mid-January he sits up in his bed while awaiting rehabilitation. The doctors have acknowledged nothing short of a miracle.

Life thrives.

And in the midst of the turmoil-turned-celebration. More evidence of life sprang up...Faith and I found out two days before Christmas that we're pregnant!

Life begins!

So now we continue on with life in the midst of these developments.
Working the farm.
Planning for life outside the farm.
Looking toward parenthood.
Walking with Scott in recovery.

Life continues.