Pardon my recent absence. Faith and I took a short vacation to visit my beloved family in Virginia. It was a grand ole time with much hilarity. Fun was had by all. Until my senses catch up to my body (I think they missed the connection in Detroit), accept this short meditation by David Crowder.

As I try to make sense of the mess that is my future, I tend to toss submission to God into the shuffle so that it's easily forgotten. May this short verse remind me to allow God to "take" me.


Take my heart, I lay it down
At the feet of You who's crowned
And take my life, I'm letting go
I lift it up, to You who's throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You, Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have I'm leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything

As a child and adolescent, ever-entranced by the modernities of cable television, I often scoffed at the idea of public media. PBS was poor-man's entertainment, for even if you couldn't afford cable and relied on a clothes hanger as an antennae, PBS came through clearly. (Believe me, I know first-hand about these things. I spent my first 12 years in the hills and sticks of Virginia, in places out-of-reach of the cable lines.) Public radio was just as bad, to say the least. To listen to NPR meant that you had no taste in music, or were so far out-of-touch with society that you didn't know that there were any other forms of amusement.

When I moved to Waco 5 years ago (good Lord, has it really been that long?), I began working in the non-profit sector. I soon found out that many of my colleagues not only listened to NPR, but were avid supporters! For the first time in my life I was a minority on the issue, so my jeering was kept to a quiet minimum. However, as time passed and my tastes matured (or became bland), I slowly found myself listening to NPR for short segments of time. Now, in this spring of 2005, NPR is almost all I listen to.

It's truly a diamond in the rough, loud, fast-paced world of entertainment radio. NPR respects the thinking listener while providing intriguing stories that take a look from a different side of many of the top news-making stories.

Some are humorous. A few are inspiring. Others challenge your belief system. All are provoking.

As a living, thinking, breathing Christian in the west, NPR has been a breath of fresh air (no pun intended for those of you familiar with it's programming!) in the stink that is U.S. media. We Christ-followers have the obligation to have a stance when it comes to today's news. Oftentimes, we (I, especially) get caught up in news and editorials that typically side with our own set of beliefs. The problem with this is the unfortunate fact that none of our beliefs are 100% correct. One of my theology professors in college always said "Thank God that everything I believe isn't 100% correct. For if so, that would make me God." That said, we have to be willing to acknowlege that not all our thoughts and beliefs are absolutely true. Further, we have to readily challenge our convictions with the hope of strengthening some, questioning others, completely tossing out a few, and being willing to consider some new ones.

As I've turned the knob and opened my ears to NPR, I've found myself challenging those very convictions more often. There's always a bit of fear in the process, but gratitude and fortitude prevails.

Whew! Didn't really intend on a sermon, but being the genetically wordy Dowdy I am, that's what happened. My main intent was to provide a couple of links to some very interesting stories I've heard recently on NPR. I highly recommend them. Just click on them, and there should be a red "Listen" button right above the brief description of the article. Enjoy!

An absolutely hilarious commentary on a middle-aged man's attempt to live out some glory on the softball diamond.

A unique look at the war in Iraq, from the perspective of a young soldier without any answers as to why his best friend was shot and killed. The young man, with uneasiness in his voice, in referring to his friend's death says "I don't know why it happened." A simple sentence that we so often think but don't vocalize. To admit uncertainty shows weakness to many. I greatly appreciated this soldier's willingness to show weakness in an area where strength is a way of life.

A very interesting story about self-storage units. While this topic may seem drab, give it a try! It really makes some interesting points about our materialism and tendency to hoard.

Today was a good day.

One of the men in our church celebrated his 62nd birthday this week. He's on the leadership council of the church, volunteers picking up people on Sunday mornings, is a member of a Christian motorcycle gang, has about a dozen grandchildren, and has survived nearly 10 years with a heart transplant after only being given 2 months to live back in 1993. The "party" thrown for him was a "Bless Ed's Mess" day, where his wife invited us all over to the house to help remodel, clean up around the yard, and do various other odd-jobs on the property.

It was a glorious day at Ed's, as it served as a wonderful reminder of why I love our church and of how I'm in a continual process of being saved by the work of Christ. As soon as I feel I've grasped an understanding and feeling of His love and power, I witness an example, a touch, a life that gives me a much deeper comprehension.

For example, one of the reasons Faith and I commited to going to Church Under the Bridge was because of it's intent to bring out the kingdom on earth, by trying to live out the concept of Jubilee and preach Christ to "black, white, and brown, rich and poor". Being deeply involved with CUB, I felt as if I had a good grasp on this whole belief system. However, I realized just how much I didn't know today while working at Ed's.

There was a schoolteacher, a social worker, 2 recovering alcoholics, an electrician, a homeless man, a migrant worker, a childcare provider, and a seminarian. Working side by side. For no reason other than to celebrate the life of Ed, help him get some much needed work done around the house, and enjoy one another's presence. No strings attached. No money involved. Just a love and appreciation for one another.

For those few hours this morning, as I helped haul trash with the 2 recovering alcoholics, we weren't separated or designated by paychecks, zip codes, stability, or education levels. As I sat next to the migrant worker and the seminarian for lunch, there was only laughter and conversation in the air.

If but for a few hours this morning, I was able to see how inadequate my understanding of Christ's work is. At the same time, God granted me a look.

Today was a good day.

t-shirts (what we should be known for)
(words and music by derek webb)

they'll know us by the t-shirts that we wear
they'll know us by the way we point and stare
at anyone whose sin looks worse than ours
who cannot hide the scars of this curse that we all bare

they’ll know us by our picket lines and signs
they’ll know us by the pride we hide behind
like anyone on earth is living right
and isn’t that why Jesus died
not to make us think we’re right

chorus
when love, love, love
is what we should be known for
love, love, love
it’s the how and it’s the why
we live and breathe and we die

they’ll know us by reasons we divide
and how we can’t seem to unify
because we’ve gotta sing songs a certain style
or we’ll walk right down that aisle
and just leave ‘em all behind

they’ll know us by the billboards that we make
just turning God’s words to cheap clichés
says “what part of murder don’t you understand?”
but we hate our fellow man
and point a finger at his grave

chorus
they'll know us by the t-shirts that we wear
they'll know us by the way we point and stare
telling ‘em their sins are worse than ours
thinking we can hide our scars
beneath these t-shirts that we wear

This tune by Derek Webb captures an issue I often find myself wrestling with. Not "wrestling" as if I'm trying to stand on a soapbox and make sure everyone hears the Truth. And not "wrestling" as if I'm taking on anyone and everyone who disagrees with me. The "wrestling" that occurs is completely and utterly Me vs. Myself.

At the heart of the matter, I suppose, is the whole phenomenon that is pop culture Christianity. Just in case I've mislabeled these words, what I'm talking about is the pervading force that has being a Christian as part of an elite group complete with its own advertising and products, entertainment and media, stores and restaurants, etc.

Perhaps this has helped the spread of Christianity as we know it...but if this is Christianity, then part of me would rather have nothing of it.

(This is where the wrestling match begins.)

The other part of me is guilty unfortunately. Guilty of those "t-shirts" that so easily label the wearer as Christian. I've worn those shirts. I go to those coffeehouses. I shop at the Chrisitan superstores. I'm familiar with the hottest new music. I use the lingo.

So I have this struggle within, not all that different from Paul's. There's a sense of the wicked when Christianity is identified by a piece of clothing, a tax code, lyrics of a song, or where you drink your coffee. Or as Derek Webb sings, "by the t-shirts that we wear...the way we point and stare...by the billboards that we make...just turning God’s words to cheap clichés." For not only will the world know us by "the reasons we divide", but for the lack of a Love that that was defined by sacrifice, selflessness, and humility. So as I say to myself, as Paul, "what a wretched man I am!", I long for the "rescue" that Paul clings to and proclaims.

What this 'rescue' actually is evades me. But as I seek, I start with asking myself, "Well, what was it that made being a Christ-follower dangerous?" Early Christians were definitely set apart in some way, and surely it wasn't due to what they wore or where they dined...right?

So as we trip and stumble over ourselves, the best remedy at times may be to laugh.
Here's some help.

And some more.

In Acts 3, Peter heals a man who had been crippled for the entirety of his life. It's a compelling story, with many points that jump out as I read and re-read it.

The routine of the day was already set in motion--Peter and John were on their way to their temple for their regular time of prayer. On the way in, they passed the crippled man who took his post to do his regular business of begging for money. As Peter and John approached the man, he asked them for money, as he regularly did. Then the story really starts to pick up! Out of the ordinary routine, out of the regularity, the spectacular happened. Being flat broke, Peter opted to heal the man in the name of Christ instead.

Being miracle-ized, the no-longer-crippled man took to "walking and jumping and praising God". From there, Peter went into a powerful sermon that led to his arrest and an even stronger sermon addressed to the Sanhedrin!

As I dwell in this funk that I've been taking on for the past couple of weeks, this is a welcome story of the power of the Holy Spirit throughout the ordinary of everyday life, with a right heart.

At work, at church, or simply when walking through the neighborhood I oftentimes meet individuals and families who make an indelible impression on me. It may be due to a unique, fascinating, appealing, or even humorous way of life or household. Sometimes it's due to an instant bond that is formed due to an uncanny similarity between our lives. The rest of the time, I feel drawn to a person or family as a result of finding out about a overwhelming burden or need they are dealing with.

Typically (especially with the latter experience listed) I rush home to tell Faith that I think it'd be a good idea for us to get to know so-and-so and so-and-so's family. It is my earnest hope that the spark behind all this is a manifestation, or at the very least a fuzzy image, of God's love in residence and working in me.

Unfortunately, there is usually some sort of a colossal breakdown that occurs which cuts short or contaminates our initial desire for community, relationship, and Love in action. Could be my inability to follow through with things. Could be pride or ego. Could be a failure to follow the example of Christ at the apostles. Could be due to a multitude of sins. Who knows.

Once I realize I've fallen short and screwed up I normally shrug it off and toss the idea into the waste bin. However, lately I've been wrestling over this particular shortcoming. Why have I neglected a certain call towards ministry in the form of friend and neighbor? Why have I instead filled my time with mind-numbing/body-pleasing activities that serve no good to me, to Faith, or anyone for that matter?

All I know is that my actions are well-represented in a song entitled "Where the Angels Sleep" by one of my favorite lyrcists, Bebo Norman:

I don't know why I always run
Is it fear of the fall or fear of the touch?
And I don't know how to really love
I've never stood still long enough

But I am alive and standing strong
I'm no farther forward, just farther along
I hold on to my pride and dig in deep
It's pulling me down, and I am no closer to release

It's taken ten thousand days
To get stuck in my ways
And it offers no grace
I cannot stand this place
With love in my face
I walk away slowly

Holding onto my pride and perhaps a fear of transparency, I now realize that in these "ten thousand days" of mine (27 years if you do the math) I've gotten "stuck in my ways" as I, over and over again, walk away slowly with the opportunity for Love right there in front of me.

The opportunity to give a bit of Love, and in return no doubt, receiving an immeasurable amount of this Gift.

This last week, I became acquainted with a pregnant lady immigrated from Mexico who was already a mother of 3 year-old twins. She was currently dealing with sanctions imposed on her welfare status, while trying to figure out how to secure a decent paying job despite her inefficient knowledge of English. Throughout the week, I struggled in trying to understand her situation while looking to fairly place her in an English or job training class in which she would benefit. However, by the end of the week she was experiencing severe stomach pains, and after eventually going to the hospital she was informed that she had a miscarriage. Understandably, she decided to leave everything all together and go home indefinitely.

So now I'm left with that familiar desire to open up our home and resources to her and her family. Only I'm a bit angry at myself because I almost expect to fail. On top of that, I'm fearful that I will "walk away slowly" in an attempt to ease my way out of this burden.

So what's a fool to do? To ignore the situation altogether would be perhaps a greater sin than failing.

All that my senses offer me is the example of Christ in Gethsemane. After confronted with the imminent danger that would be betrayal, arrest, torture, trial, and crucifixion, Christ certainly had the opportunity many -ologists call "fight or flight". But rather than choosing to resist or flee the perils ahead, he embraced them. One of his followers chose to fight. Others obviously fled. But yet Christ embraced the task at hand.

To embrace whatever opportunity for Love is standing in front of me--now that's a novel concept! It seems embracing leaves no room for walking away slowly or easing out of commitment.

Embracing forces touch.

My life these past few days has been shamefully consumed with movies. I'm not sure of the reason, other than perhaps a lazy desire to not want to make good use of my time. So that said, I'm going to redeem at least part of the time I've used in front of a movie screen.

Brian McLaren, pastor and theologian, wrote an article a few months ago regarding the movie Hotel Rwanda. He makes several good points, and raises some very valid questions that anyone claiming Christ should consider. Read it. Truly mulling over McLaren's article shouldn't leave anyone comfortable.

For instance, the last question McLaren poses asks what kind of repentance Hotel Rwanda evokes. He could have easily asked how the movie inspired. Or even convicted. But he wants to know how it drives one to repent. To repent. Not to feel warm and fuzzy, or even crummy. But to act. After witnessing an account of hatred vs. love, genocide vs. life, what are we driven to do? The idea of repentance involves an actual physical act--not just conviction or forgiveness, but an actual turning away from some deed, lifestyle, or way of thinking and toward something completely and redeemingly different.

Many reports came out after Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ about scores of viewers being driven to repent and turn to God. Yet not much, if any, has come out of Hotel Rwanda. At least not from Christians. McLaren argues, pretty effectively I might add, that Hotel Rwanda may be more accurately entitled The Passion of the Christ.

If so, what repentance does it call for? What must we, what must I turn from? Complacency? Ignorance? Lack of love? Inactivity?


What must we, nay, what must I run to?

I'm not quite sure this is what Luke meant when he reported in Acts that the early church "had everything in common". Read this Associated Press article.

While violating several facets of the creedal Baptist Faith and Message (including, but not exclusively the ideas of grace and cooperation), at least they hold to its view of the church, operating "through democratic processes", right?


You can't help but laugh sometimes at our own inadequacies.

Last week I read a book entitled Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, A Man Who Would Cure the World, by Tracy Kidder. The book was nothing short of incredible. Kidder followed Dr. Farmer around for a few years while composing his biography, and to read of Farmer's seamless passion, or as he would put it, "preferential option for the poor" was future-shaping.

On top of that, I've been crawling through Written in Blood: The Story of the Haitian People, 1492-1995 by the Heinls. This 800 page mammoth is wordy and slow at times, but the education I'm getting from it is priceless.

A common theme I've encountered (and undoubtedly continue to come across) is one of undermining. The country of Haiti, time and time again, since its discovery has been subject to a nearly endless flow of undermining, impairment, and sabotage from within and from foreign interests (especially France and the U.S.) But, despite that, the people continue. They plod on with life.

This is a subject that I've been pondering over for a few weeks now and am in the process of trying to order and inscribe my thoughts. Expect a post in the upcoming days/weeks about this issue. In the meantime, here are a few articles/websites that give a good intro to Haiti's past and present.

A VERY brief look at U.S.-Haitian history...note the word VERY

The Institute for Justice and Democracy in Haiti

The Partners in Health statement on Haiti

A Q&A on Haiti w/ the BBC



"Only in Haiti would a child cry out that she's hungry during a spinal tap. "
-Dr. Paul Farmer, upon hearing the little girl he was operating on cry out for food while performing a spinal tap on the side of a road near his home in Haiti

Now I'm back at home, all alone, and trying to find my thoughts
About that old man, so inspiring but the TV's always on
And the phone, it won't stop ringing,
And these bills they keep on screaming
to pay for all the things that we have never really needed
And I wonder what he's doing right now
Maybe walking through his simple field thinking about how
God has blessed him so
A man, his bride, his children and his roses

-The Roses, by Caedmon's Call

With the plight of half the world's population living on $2/day or less, simplicity as modeled by Christ isn't simply a virture, but a mandate. As comfortable as ignorance may have been, Faith and I have robbed ourselves of such a luxury (or is it a malady?). With Haiti living in our memory and comandeering our future, we have to face such a statistic with heads bowed and penitent hearts in prayer, for our past and our current lifestyle convicts us of not only complacency and materialism, but negligence to our brother.

Despite the quiet void we've allowed with the absence of a TV (as described in the previous post), we still have the noise depicted in the song above--the bills that seem to scream and the phone that never ceases to ring.

Our prayer is that we move beyond trying to fix our thoughts on our "blessed" friends in Haiti walking through their "simple fields", to trying to find ourselves in those very fields.

With ignorance no longer eligible as an excuse, movement is the key for renewal.

My buddy Kurt keeps a LiveJournal that I try to keep up with on a regular basis. It's been pretty fun being able to keep up with an old friend who no longer lives in Texas, but in Boston now. Recently, as a result of the moving of the Holy Spirit through some of his friends, church, and a conference, Kurt's literally turned his life upside-down and inside-out. He's looking into a missions training school. Spending more time in prayer and study. And, most striking to me, giving up most forms of media/entertainment. He's gotten rid of his DVD player and TV. (To know Kurt is to know that this latest step wasn't taken lightly, as he's a diehard fan and critic of a handful of TV shows!)

What I've gathered from conversations with Kurt and through his site is that the biggest reason for the change is to avoid the temptation that inevitably grows for most people with a tele. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Kurt.) Not that all media--tv shows, movies, videos, etc.--is bad, but in weighing the potential for good versus the potential for evil, the potential for evil seems to be too big of a risk to take.

I know many will argue that self-discipline and adherence to the Holy Spirit can assure a victorious result when it comes to keeping the use of media at a safe reach. However, I know my own weaknesses and faults. I know how I've slipped up in the past. Additionally, I'm reminded of Paul's instructions to both Timothy and the Corinthians--to flee from sexual immorality, idolatry, and the love of money (1 Cor. 6:12-20; 10:14 & 1 Tim. 6) Seems to me that media, especially the world of television, can fall into all 3 categories!

So I applaud Kurt's efforts, and struggle alongside with him. Faith and I decided to not have a television once we were married. The temptation to fall into the sins of sexual immorality, idolatry, and materialism are all real to us. But more than that, we want the best for our time and to fall into the trap of endless, mindless hours on the couch in front of the tv scares me enough to not even have one. That said, emptying our life of a tv simply provides another potential idol (like this computer) to fill the void. So self-discipline and adherence to the Spirit is still much needed, but simplification helps the process a bit, I believe.

I suppose with this world there'll always be something we can turn into an idol, even if its ourselves.

Today at church, on this "Celebrate Hispanics" Sunday, the sermon was entitled "Social Justice". It seemed odd at first as Jimmy (our pastor) began the sermon by saying that in a recent survey of the church, the majority of the people wanted to hear more about social justice issues. The strangeness to me was due to the fact that it seems as if most sermons touch on social justice in some way.

Anyways, so Jimmy spent the morning discussing social justice, holistic missions, and the like. At the end of the sermon, we broke into discussion groups and went over a sampling of "social justice issues". While in the groups, we talked about which ones meant the most to us at this time in our lives. The list was quite extensive, to say the least. On it were 35 issues, that covered hunger, racism, genocide, war, medical ethics, health care, disease, economics, homelessness, environmental issues, education, domestic violence, the prison system, etc.

At first, we were a bit frustrated because we were having trouble narrowing down the list to 2-3 issues that meant most to us. Jimmy then comforted us by saying that the beautiful thing is that even though as Christ-followers we'll really only be interested in and able to be involved with a few of the items on the list, the church as a whole is able (or should be able) to tackle the whole of the list. Just as in 1 Corinthians, when Paul talks of the one body having many parts, we should all take up concern for the poor and oppressed in the way that God has gifted us. Not everyone can work to wipe out homelessness, and not everyone can work to rid the word of genocide. But, if every follower were to seek justice in the area that they can best serve, then perhaps the Church would be getting somewhere.


Now, to be getting somewhere myself...