Weeks ago, Faith and I did a sort of prayer experiment where we actually prayed prayers instead of talking about praying...imagine that! Over that time we tried different practices, such as
lectio divina (my favorite),
the prayer of examen, and others. We also visited a 24-7 prayer room at a local church for some much needed alone, distraction-free time with God.
Unfortunately, prayer's proven not to be as much of a priority to me as other "important" things in life right now, so I've let the experiment slip.
However, I'm still ruminating on several scripture passages and insights that the Spirit opened up to me during that time.
One is that of the Apostle Thomas, a.k.a. "Doubting Thomas".
It seems that 'ole Thomas is always being both singled out and most identified with for the doubt he expresses in
John 20:24-31. We seem to pick on him while also relating to him for his lack of faith.
However if you flip to John 11, the story of the death and resurrection of Lazarus, we see a whole different side to Thomas. Everyone's familiar with the story--
-how Christ hears that his good friend Lazarus is sick, only to find out shortly thereafter that he dies;
-Christ's disciples oppose a trip back to Bethany because they nearly died there earlier;
-Lazarus' sisters, Martha and Mary had faith in Christ though they were distraught over their brother's death;
-and how Christ powerfully raised Lazarus from the dead.
One interesting verse we often overlook is verse 16, Thomas' lone remark. After the disciples all voiced their concern over the wisdom and safety of returning to Bethany, Christ decided that they would go regardless. And Thomas simply says,
Let us also go, that we may die with him. As I read this several weeks back, I was simply amazed at this mixture of doubt, courage, and faith that Thomas displayed. He obviously was in agreement with the disciples--he felt that going back to Bethany meant death for them all. He wasn't too sure of Christ's ability to take care of them. But nevertheless, he had made it up in his mind to follow Him wherever they were led.
And so, even though he lacked the faith at the moment, he displayed a tremendous amount of faith at the same time.
One of my favorite songs lately is a song by Nickel Creek called "Doubting Thomas". It's a wonderfully simple song, when compared to their others. The lyrics are below.
what will be left when i've drawn my last breath,
besides the folks i've met and the folks who know me
will i discover a soul cleansing love
or just the dirt above and below me
i'm a doubting thomas,
i took a promise,
but i don't know what's safe,
oh me of little faith
sometimes i pray for a slap in the face,
then i beg to be spared 'cause i'm a coward,
if there's a master of death i'll bet he's holding his breath,
as i show the blind and tell the deaf about his power,
i'm a doubting thomas
i can't keep my promises
'cause i don't know what's safe
oh me of little faith
can i be used to help others find truth
when i'm scared i'll find proof that its a lie
can i be lead down a trail dropping bread crumbs
that prove i'm not ready to die
please give me time to decipher the signs,
please forgive me for time that i've wasted
i'm a doubting thomas,
i'll take your promise,
though i know nothin's safe
oh me of little faith
A statement we would easily pin on Thomas, yes? A statement we who are followers would pin on ourselves as well at times.
But yet Thomas was ready to follow Jesus to death.
But yet Thomas is credited with taking Christianity as far east as India.
But yet we followers find ways to continue following.
And that, my friend, is why Thomas (or a derivative of it) is in the running to be part of the name of our son.
